#456 Hairy Business

Now Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king's heart was toward Absalom.

2 And Joab sent to Tekoah, and fetched thence a wise woman, and said unto her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner, and put on now mourning apparel, and anoint not thyself with oil, but be as a woman that had a long time mourned for the dead:

3 And come to the king, and speak on this manner unto him. So Joab put the words in her mouth.

4 And when the woman of Tekoah spake to the king, she fell on her face to the ground, and did obeisance, and said, Help, O king.

5 And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, I am indeed a widow woman, and mine husband is dead.

6 And thy handmaid had two sons, and they two strove together in the field, and there was none to part them, but the one smote the other, and slew him.

7 And, behold, the whole family is risen against thine handmaid, and they said, Deliver him that smote his brother, that we may kill him, for the life of his brother whom he slew; and we will destroy the heir also: and so they shall quench my coal which is left, and shall not leave to my husband neither name nor remainder upon the earth.

8 And the king said unto the woman, Go to thine house, and I will give charge concerning thee.

9 And the woman of Tekoah said unto the king, My lord, O king, the iniquity be on me, and on my father's house: and the king and his throne be guiltless.

10 And the king said, Whoever saith ought unto thee, bring him to me, and he shall not touch thee any more.

11 Then said she, I pray thee, let the king remember the Lord thy God, that thou wouldest not suffer the revengers of blood to destroy any more, lest they destroy my son. And he said, As the Lord liveth, there shall not one hair of thy son fall to the earth.

12 Then the woman said, Let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak one word unto my lord the king. And he said, Say on.

13 And the woman said, Wherefore then hast thou thought such a thing against the people of God? for the king doth speak this thing as one which is faulty, in that the king doth not fetch home again his banished.

14 For we must needs die, and are as water spilt on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again; neither doth God respect any person: yet doth he devise means, that his banished be not expelled from him.

15 Now therefore that I am come to speak of this thing unto my lord the king, it is because the people have made me afraid: and thy handmaid said, I will now speak unto the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his handmaid.

16 For the king will hear, to deliver his handmaid out of the hand of the man that would destroy me and my son together out of the inheritance of God.

17 Then thine handmaid said, The word of my lord the king shall now be comfortable: for as an angel of God, so is my lord the king to discern good and bad: therefore the Lord thy God will be with thee.

18 Then the king answered and said unto the woman, Hide not from me, I pray thee, the thing that I shall ask thee. And the woman said, Let my lord the king now speak.

19 And the king said, Is not the hand of Joab with thee in all this? And the woman answered and said, As thy soul liveth, my lord the king, none can turn to the right hand or to the left from ought that my lord the king hath spoken: for thy servant Joab, he bade me, and he put all these words in the mouth of thine handmaid:

20 To fetch about this form of speech hath thy servant Joab done this thing: and my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of an angel of God, to know all things that are in the earth.

21 And the king said unto Joab, Behold now, I have done this thing: go therefore, bring the young man Absalom again.

22 And Joab fell to the ground on his face, and bowed himself, and thanked the king: and Joab said, To day thy servant knoweth that I have found grace in thy sight, my lord, O king, in that the king hath fulfilled the request of his servant.

23 So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem.

24 And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king's face.

25 But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.

26 And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year's end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king's weight.

27 And unto Absalom there were born three sons, and one daughter, whose name was Tamar: she was a woman of a fair countenance.

28 So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king's face.

29 Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to have sent him to the king; but he would not come to him: and when he sent again the second time, he would not come.

30 Therefore he said unto his servants, See, Joab's field is near mine, and he hath barley there; go and set it on fire. And Absalom's servants set the field on fire.

31 Then Joab arose, and came to Absalom unto his house, and said unto him, Wherefore have thy servants set my field on fire?

32 And Absalom answered Joab, Behold, I sent unto thee, saying, Come hither, that I may send thee to the king, to say, Wherefore am I come from Geshur? it had been good for me to have been there still: now therefore let me see the king's face; and if there be any iniquity in me, let him kill me.

33 So Joab came to the king, and told him: and when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king, and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king: and the king kissed Absalom. 2 Samuel 14 KJV

Those who are close to us can often sense our grief, or read our body language, like Amnon's cousin. But this is why one must be careful about who we keep so close to us, and who becomes our adviser. Because you know my habits and can read that I am in pain, does not qualify you as a physician. Now you may give me good advice, little advice or sometimes the best is no advice, for if you don't know then what good is it to make as though you do. I use to get so mad when someone would tell me, "I don't know, let me pray for you," that and a bag of groceries and I wouldn't be hungry anymore I would think, too bad that it wasn't hunger I was dealing with, because those that prayed for me always fed me as well. There is often an obvious answer, I am bored, so go do something. I am mischievous, so go cause trouble, pick a fight. I am broke but I want nice things and a vacation, so go rob a bank. I see a beautiful woman bathing on her balcony, so figure out a way to have her. Joab may be a great adviser when it comes to war, and he may be quite courageous, but he also stepped outside his bounds in taking Abner. He killed Abner in a time of peace between Abner and the king under the pretense of a peaceful meeting with Joab. He may not be the best qualified here to judge the intentions of Absalom, so to plead his case he does it through the words of a wise woman. She, like Samuel, comes with a tale, but be careful, for the lie always comes imitating the truth, the closer the better. If you want your lure to be accepted by the bass, you make it the size of it's prey, you try to conceal the line as much as necessary, you entice her to bite, and then you set the hook and reel her in. 

But small is the gate and narrow the way that leads to life, and only a few find it. 15Beware of false prophets. They come to youin sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16By their fruit you will recognize them. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?…Matthew 7:14-16

There are some issues with her story mingled with some wonderful attributes as well. First off, her son killed the other son in a struggle between the two, in self defense. Absalom spun a web for two years, biding his time, waiting for the right moment, getting his brother as drunk and defenseless as possible, and then having his servants kill him. The woman's son could have retreated to the city of refuge, and her being the next of kin, not wanting to avenge, may have more grounds here if her story was valid. 

He is her only son left, which added upon the previous statements, with more knowledge of the quarrel that took place, David may have room here to show her grace. Absalom was not David's only son left and again, it is in cold blood. 

Her story also intimates that others from the family would like to avenge the death for their own greediness, removing the heir. David can relate to this as one chased by Saul, and also as one not unacquainted with feeling. He asks her for time, but she is insistent that he answer now, which is often a good cue to exit stage right. 

She manages from him the answer that she wants, he gets all loud and kingly like with an oath, "as the Lord liveth, there shall not one hair of thy son fall to the floor." He has made an executive decision about a boy who does not exist, and this shall be tied to his own. Samuel did it with the story about a lamb right? Same thing, right? She goes on, and just in case he has somehow missed the comparison, she explains it, like she is prophesying. Everyone loves a good prophesy. Apparently, in deciding this in her favor, he is now at fault for not bringing home his own murderous son. It is not only against his son, but her concern is also for the people of Israel, besides, we all die, and since your disgusting son is the one who is spilt out like water, why cry over what cannot be picked up. Let's move on. Hmmm, it sounds colorful. It is hard to pick up water that is being absorbed into the ground, no doubt about that. God does devise means that His banished be brought back to Him. Now that is interesting, because Israel has often been saved by God, she is set apart by Him, corrected by Him, but He can do this by many or by few. He does not need Absalom; he is not their promised heritage. The woman makes it seem like this is the case, that she fears for the people, maybe an uprising. David senses Joab's hand in this, but it has been entertaining and he does miss his son, so he is happy for this sort of wisdom that would point to the direction of his desire. Besides, the people love Absalom, he is beautiful, he is rash, when he doesn't get an immediate response he burns a field. He draws attention, he gets stuff done, what could be the down side to that? He is Joab's neighbor, and Joab would like to make peace now, since this could be his new king. Joab is happy, David is happy, Absalom is happy, this has to be the right thing. 

For you are fully aware that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. 3While people are saying, “Peace and security,”destruction will come upon them suddenly, like labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. 4But you, brothers, are not in the darkness so that this day should overtake you like a thief.…1Thessalonians 5: 2-4

Absalom doesn't seem much different from his brother. He is spoiled, throws a tantrum to the General of the army, who has also been his advocate, and he gets what he wants. It is not for the love of his father nor to do well before God, but he is now restored to the courts. He holds an office, can make decisions, good or bad probably doesn't matter so much to him. He is weaving another web, and I wonder at the first one, since he did press his father to come.