#455 Friendly Advice

And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

2 And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.

3 But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man.

4 And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.

5 And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.

6 So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.

7 Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon's house, and dress him meat.

8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes.

9 And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him.

10 And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.

11 And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.

12 And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.

13 And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.

14 Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.

15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.

16 And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her.

17 Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.

18 And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king's daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her.

19 And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying.

20 And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom's house.

21 But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth.

22 And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

23 And it came to pass after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baalhazor, which is beside Ephraim: and Absalom invited all the king's sons.

24 And Absalom came to the king, and said, Behold now, thy servant hath sheepshearers; let the king, I beseech thee, and his servants go with thy servant.

25 And the king said to Absalom, Nay, my son, let us not all now go, lest we be chargeable unto thee. And he pressed him: howbeit he would not go, but blessed him.

26 Then said Absalom, If not, I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said unto him, Why should he go with thee?

27 But Absalom pressed him, that he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with him.

28 Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous, and be valiant.

29 And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, and every man gat him up upon his mule, and fled.

30 And it came to pass, while they were in the way, that tidings came to David, saying, Absalom hath slain all the king's sons, and there is not one of them left.

31 Then the king arose, and tare his garments, and lay on the earth; and all his servants stood by with their clothes rent.

32 And Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother, answered and said, Let not my lord suppose that they have slain all the young men the king's sons; for Amnon only is dead: for by the appointment of Absalom this hath been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar.

33 Now therefore let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king's sons are dead: for Amnon only is dead.

34 But Absalom fled. And the young man that kept the watch lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, there came much people by the way of the hill side behind him.

35 And Jonadab said unto the king, Behold, the king's sons come: as thy servant said, so it is.

36 And it came to pass, as soon as he had made an end of speaking, that, behold, the king's sons came, and lifted up their voice and wept: and the king also and all his servants wept very sore.

37 But Absalom fled, and went to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day.

38 So Absalom fled, and went to Geshur, and was there three years.

39 And the soul of king David longed to go forth unto Absalom: for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead. 2 Samuel 13 KJV

The troubles of David continue, even when you refrain from your own sin, the defeat can make it difficult to stand up against the sin of others. In this wretched tale we find his oldest son, supposedly love sick, for what the law has deemed off limits. This is his half sister, relation, and he is quite taken with her, but is this from a heart with the purest of motives and intentions? Does the law have the right to make such limits? Does God have the right to set such boundaries upon His creation? It is observable within the field of genetics that inbreeding can lock in traits, but also transfer such corruptions of the pool at a faster rate. This was observable even then, and in remote places, the weakening of the line of live stock. I don't think the young lad has had much withheld from him, and so often the liberal parent thinks it loving not to restrain the appetite, but rather to indulge. He is the kings son and with that comes privilege, but for all that is at his beckon, like his father before him, those indulgences no longer suffice. The thing which Leviticus 18:11 speaks so clearly against, that forbidden incest between himself and what is rightly called his sister, the daughter of his father, that is what now entices him. He cannot hear, "no, off limits, forbade, wrong, stop." He does not care for the voice of God, and is upset not about his sin, but that such limitations exist. 

He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm. Proverbs 13:20

Now Amnon does have a wonderful friend, who is concerned with his well being. "Why are you so sad, my friend? Why would a son of the king ever look down? I just want you to be happy. If it makes you happy then do it. Ah, thankfully such wisdom always abounds, one can always find another who will help you justify doing that which God is opposed to, and help you do it without worry. "There is no God. God wouldn't care about something like that. The Bible is an old book. We can test genetics now so that incest really isn't a problem," I actually read an article about that some time ago, and I think it was a case out of New Zealand, a mother and son. After all, if they test the fetus and it is not to their liking then you can always kill it. "What right does God have to any of this? Why did He make me this way? It is His fault after all that I am attracted to my sister." 

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. 13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. 14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.[d] 18 Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures. James 1: 12-18

God is not the Author of Amnon's sin, in that He is not his tempter. God does not come into being as men and all other created things come to exist. He is and therefore we are able to exist because He calls us into life. He is truth and He is holy, infinitely so at that and it is this light that reveals the dark, but does not have darkness generating forth out of itself. Paraphrasing Edwards, the darkness is not generated or birthed of the sun, but rather comes as the sun recedes the horizon. Light does not make dark, it chases, it burns, it irritates the eyes and reveals the intents of the heart. If God has given man a knife, has He forced his hand to murder with it? If God has made Tamar beautiful has He also not rightly made Tamar after His own image, of value and worth, beyond her good looks and body? Or has He done unjustly in making her attractive, because He has also somehow made it impossible for you not to rape her? People will never give God credit where it is due, but they are quick to give blame where it doesn't fit. There is a lot here, a father who has not restrained himself, his sons, a son who has idiots for friends, and a father who should be more aware of his own house. How shall he rule Israel when his own house is in such disorder? The law is clear here, Amnon has been counseled by a moron who does not bring up the law or the righteousness of God, does not counsel about God's wrath and judgment, but rather looks for a way to step around the law, and to fool a sister who might be adverse to such things. He gets her to his chamber, then he clears the room of witnesses, then he ask her, but she says NAY, don't do this thing. She has come in kindness, but now her person, her honor, that very thing which a brother should defend, he will now take by force. She pleads and reasons with him, calling him brother, even asking that he go to David, but he knows the answer, and he wants what he holds in his hand right now. He takes it and then hates her, for she will not bare any of the blame, it is not a secret shared between friends, but it is his choice. She has of her own free will said, "no", and he has traded his freedom for the chains of guilt, the mark of the fool. Though he may go on and suppress what he has done, and his father may fail his sister for whatever lack there is in David, God will not be mocked. It is better to be confronted by a friend, turned to a better path, held back from the pit. For if the righteous don't restrain you, the unrighteous will destroy you in the name of honor. Absalom may be considered by some a hero, but he is quick to ask, hath Amnon done this unto thee? I think Amnon's ways are well known, and someone should have stood up to him a long time before this. Parents who think they do so well by their children, indulging their every want, defending their every sin, blaming everyone else, never making them accountable or punishing their evil, you turn your children over to their destruction. It will not matter, your take on parenting, what society allowed, I will say it again, till your ears bleed, my opinion does not matter. Is there a God? I believe there is. What did He say? Not, what do you think, or what would you like?

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts. Proverbs 21:2

The idols that David has brought into his house are now worshiped by his sons. Abasalom is kind to his sister, and he does wonderful in bringing her under the protection of his roof, but he is also calculating. He either has lost hope that his father can be convinced to do what is right or he is so much more pleased with the thought of killing his brother, the next in line. Eli was slow to punish his sons, and David thinks it is love that restrains his hand here, both as the father and as the king, but he has here denied the office of both. He has not given justice to the wounded, confronted sin, consulted with God. He is just angry, but what good is it when you love son or daughter more than God? Is it love? Love doesn't seek it's own, it seeks the good of the other, and what good is it for the other to be happy here in their sin, yet forever set against an almighty, Holy and Just God? How much love is it that you did not stir the pot, make waves, say what someone did not want to hear, wasn't that more for your sake than loves? Isn't it more convenient for you? Absalom persuades his father to send his brother to his house. It is interesting in the text that he also wanted David to come and he presses him. Absalom has an idol too, and it probably looks just like him, only taller than any building in the kingdom, set up as high as his imagination and ambition will carry him. He is arrogant and loves power, and whatever good he has done for his sister, he is still not a God fearing man himself. There is more here for Absalom than his sister's honor, and he brings his men into his craft, encouraging them, "fear not, have I not commanded you?" Oh well, ok, if you say so. As long as you are giving the order then I am not doing anything wrong, only obeying my master, being a good servant. If there is any wrong it is on you. If it worked that way you couldn't have the Nuremberg trials. Hitler's men thought that a fare argument, that they were only following orders. Society decides what is right and wrong and therefore this was right at the time for it was there Nazi society and the dictate of their ruler. There's people who believe similar today, some just never allow themselves to walk the problem that far back, but it's an argument to them nonetheless. 

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. 28 Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. Matthew 23: 27&28

Absalom was beautiful to his father, and his heart missed him, for he left the land after the murder of his brother. He left, for it was not in self defense, he actually got him drunk, set a trap and sprung it upon him. If it were in self defense then he could have fled to one of the cities of refuge, but this was not the case and it was not by accident either. We cry now over the pain of death, but what could have been done for the living if we would have mourned so much more then over our sin?

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5: 3 & 4