#645 Admitting What I Couldn't See

“I loathe my life;

I will give free utterance to my complaint;

I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.

2 I will say to God, Do not condemn me;

let me know why you contend against me.

3 Does it seem good to you to oppress,

to despise the work of your hands

and favor the designs of the wicked?

4 Have you eyes of flesh?

Do you see as man sees?

5 Are your days as the days of man,

or your years as a man's years,

6 that you seek out my iniquity

and search for my sin,

7 although you know that I am not guilty,

and there is none to deliver out of your hand?

8 Your hands fashioned and made me,

and now you have destroyed me altogether.

9 Remember that you have made me like clay;

and will you return me to the dust?

10 Did you not pour me out like milk

and curdle me like cheese?

11 You clothed me with skin and flesh,

and knit me together with bones and sinews.

12 You have granted me life and steadfast love,

and your care has preserved my spirit.

13 Yet these things you hid in your heart;

I know that this was your purpose.

14 If I sin, you watch me

and do not acquit me of my iniquity.

15 If I am guilty, woe to me!

If I am in the right, I cannot lift up my head,

for I am filled with disgrace

and look on my affliction.

16 And were my head lifted up,[a] you would hunt me like a lion

and again work wonders against me.

17 You renew your witnesses against me

and increase your vexation toward me;

you bring fresh troops against me.

18 “Why did you bring me out from the womb?

Would that I had died before any eye had seen me

19 and were as though I had not been,

carried from the womb to the grave.

20 Are not my days few?

Then cease, and leave me alone, that I may find a little cheer

21 before I go—and I shall not return—

to the land of darkness and deep shadow,

22 the land of gloom like thick darkness,

like deep shadow without any order,

where light is as thick darkness.” Job 10 ESV

I will give my sorrow and misery a voice. Lord, let this not lead to a final sentencing, let this not be my end, but tell me, why? Job wants to know, why is this a good idea, God, you made me and what will the wicked think? My friends think I must be wicked to suffer like this, and my enemies, what will my enemies say of my God? There is an argument throughout this chapter that still persist today.

There is a futility that is done on the earth: There are righteous men who get what the actions of the wicked deserve, and there are wicked men who get what the actions of the righteous deserve. I say that this too is futile. Ecclesiastes 8:14

You will say to me then, “Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?” 20 But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?”21 Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? Romans 9: 18-21

I suggest reading all of Romans 9 for a fuller understanding and context of this; it was a stumbling block to my early Christian years, it did not fit my own view of what Christianity or God was supposed to be like. But if I would have dug even deeper back then, I would have realized that Christ did not fit into my "Christian" world view either. He emptied out Himself by example and demanded that I must die to myself to follow. In verse 4 here, Job ask if God has eyes of flesh in a poetic sense, knowing that He does not see like men see, but further, all, and He is eternal, so Job pleads his case to Him, who sees all. My friends say I have sinned, but You alone know all things, You know my heart, what is true, You know I am innocent to what they say, yet here I am in the way I would expect to find only the wickedest of men, those that hate You. 

I am the work of Your hands, I attribute that to Your design, and the reference to milk and cheese, I see caused some early commentators to blush, a milk like substance, the sperm, mixed and curdled in procreation, an act in continuance of the Creator's design. So we see that he values life, he is like the Psalmist, most aware that he is fearfully and wonderfully made. He says, "You have granted me life and love," so life is a gift and now because of extreme pain, loss and agony, it is also a curse. The picture is to have everything, and then have everything taken away. The argument is not against God, there is no real argument there, and Job perceives this dimly, but the argument is against Job's religious model, groping through the dark and finding that God is sovereign. In verse 13 he acknowledges that this is God's hidden purpose, though it is Satan that buffets him, it is God Who allows it. It is God, Who says, "consider My servant, Job." That is all hidden to Job, but for those who are squeamish and still need a god on their terms, that is not God, that is an idol. Christianity 101, "all have sinned, the wages of sin is death," so what does God owe Job or any other creature? Not even an explanation. 

Verse 15, if I am in the right, I cannot lift up my head, and I think this is quite lovely, even if I haven't done any evil deserving this, my circumstances mark me as one who has disobeyed God. We are all born as sons of Adam, broken from the fall, even the most righteous of men, his days are counting down to dust. Naked I came, and what did I do to get here? There is a thing we owe each other because of God making us in His image, there is a patience and tenderness we should naturally have, compassion that should pour out of us toward each other, because of our equal standing as humans, but we are warped. There is a thing that God owes us for being fallen away from that image, from knowing right and wrong, by way of doing evil, by being divorced from our Parent and following another. Job cannot hold his head up, and Christ has not yet been lifted up, this is before Moses. Let his friends name the sin that should cause this calamity, and Job may deny it, but they are like the pharisees, whose righteousness we must exceed. They wouldn't accept his answer anyway, and his enemies are dancing in drunken circles, laughing and shouting, thinking themselves to be saying things that matter. "Look at that pious heap, he would only serve one God, and look what that got him. He should have had a back up." 

He laments his birth again, but hold on Job, it is dark, but there is more than you realize. He asks for just a bit of comfort, a break from the never ending irritation. It only seems to increase, and he would but a moment, just a moment of comfort to have a clear thought, and appreciate a moment's ease. How much we take for granted, if only Job could see, if only we.