#631 Insomniac Delight

On that night the king could not sleep. And he gave orders to bring the book of memorable deeds, the chronicles, and they were read before the king. 2 And it was found written how Mordecai had told about Bigthana[a] and Teresh, two of the king's eunuchs, who guarded the threshold, and who had sought to lay hands on King Ahasuerus. 3 And the king said, “What honor or distinction has been bestowed on Mordecai for this?” The king's young men who attended him said, “Nothing has been done for him.” 4 And the king said, “Who is in the court?” Now Haman had just entered the outer court of the king's palace to speak to the king about having Mordecai hanged on the gallows[b] that he had prepared for him. 5 And the king's young men told him, “Haman is there, standing in the court.” And the king said, “Let him come in.” 6 So Haman came in, and the king said to him, “What should be done to the man whom the king delights to honor?” And Haman said to himself, “Whom would the king delight to honor more than me?” 7 And Haman said to the king, “For the man whom the king delights to honor, 8 let royal robes be brought, which the king has worn, and the horse that the king has ridden, and on whose head a royal crown[c] is set. 9 And let the robes and the horse be handed over to one of the king's most noble officials. Let them dress the man whom the king delights to honor, and let them lead him on the horse through the square of the city, proclaiming before him: ‘Thus shall it be done to the man whom the king delights to honor.’”10 Then the king said to Haman, “Hurry; take the robes and the horse, as you have said, and do so to Mordecai the Jew, who sits at the king's gate. Leave out nothing that you have mentioned.” 11 So Haman took the robes and the horse, and he dressed Mordecai and led him through the square of the city, proclaiming before him, “Thus shall it be done to the man whom the king delights to honor.”

12 Then Mordecai returned to the king's gate. But Haman hurried to his house, mourning and with his head covered. 13 And Haman told his wife Zeresh and all his friends everything that had happened to him. Then his wise men and his wife Zeresh said to him, “If Mordecai, before whom you have begun to fall, is of the Jewish people, you will not overcome him but will surely fall before him.”

Esther Reveals Haman's Plot

14 While they were yet talking with him, the king's eunuchs arrived and hurried to bring Haman to the feast that Esther had prepared. Esther 6 ESV

"Be still,' He says, 'and know that I am God." I must have the guiltiest of consciences, or the most restless of minds, for its turning keeps me awake often. But it is also here that I wrestle, that I cry out, confess, admit the end of myself. When everything is quiet the hunt begins, the trail that leads into the woods where no one else is speaking. I hear the voice of the wind, the trickling of the waters, and a million chirps I cannot see let me know I am not alone. If I cannot sleep then read to me, let my rest be productive, Lord, teach my heart. Bring me the book of memorable deeds, let me remember how good is grace, how often I should have died, what angels have been sent to me. Mordecai, I remember him, and what was ever done for this man, this man who saved my life? Why nothing. Haman would have had T-shirts made that said, "I saved the king." If your life has any value at all, then how valuable is the one who helps you to keep it? Remember those who have been kind to you and rejoice when the time comes that you can show them a kindness too. I have taken and thought far too much of myself over the years, Lord that I might return it some way. 

8 The righteous is delivered from trouble, and the wicked walks into it instead. 

9 With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered. 

10 When it goes well with the righteous, the city rejoices, and when the wicked perish there are shouts of gladness. 

11 By the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is overthrown. 

12 Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. Proverbs 11: 8-12

Haman, my confidant, my right hand, who has so much, so much that it should be overflowing. Who gets to stand before the king so often? You are like Lucifer, desperate to wear the crown that belongs to the Most High, but you are created, a man that has been raised to prominence by the king. So you answer like the devil, like the one who pretends to deserve the worship that belongs to the Creator alone. "What should be done to the man whom the king delights to honor?" I admire Xerxes that he has found the way to rest from his restlessness in this, delight, a good deed to someone who has given me a second chance at life. I owe him honor. The honor of the king is quite a prize to have, and since he is already as high as being next the king, his most inner circle, privy to the riches associated with this position, he wants something that makes him look equal. I have this much power, that so much goes through me and I can be all the more sought by the lobbyist, if I wear a robe that you have worn. I can look like you, your horse and one of your crowns can be my endorsements. Better still, have the horse be led by one of the princes of the kingdom, so the people understand the chain of command. 

Pride goes before destruction,

and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

Hardly anyone believes that they think too highly of themselves, for that is not the gospel of our day, but rather everyone believes that they do not think enough of themselves. My self esteem is running low today, yet I would not know that lest I was looking so much into it. I do not want to be fooled by myself anymore, for I have received many nice things that I did not deserve, and like Haman, I believed I had somehow merited it by just being me. Of all people, I should know to thank God, then those who have carried my often dead carcass, who have hoped and prayed for me to grow a conscience, of my true self, my lost condition. If you think you are being called to Christ, well, let me ask you what that looks like? Because if it looks like anything other than self denial, if it looks like you, then it is not Christ. He did not come to seek the righteous, but sinners, not the found, but the lost, it is the sick after all who need a Physician. Haman holds himself up above everything he has done, he must bring others down to make himself high, and now he must hold the rope and lead the king's horse for Mordecai. 

Mordecai goes through all of the motions of this and then quickly returns to his post. He gives his fellow Jews hope that the sight of him means the genocide will end, but then he immediately humbles himself to his station. This does not change Mordecai, it does not corrupt his mind or poison his ego. I am somebody because God made me in His image, and that is enough. 

Haman goes to his family and his wise men, and even they can see the writing on the wall. The one you hate is being exalted, the one you would hang has been lifted up another way. Imagine Jesus, riding in on His donkey, and the people laying down palm branches before Him, Satan has not been able to tempt Him to sin, but he has seen this from afar off. There are others though that just like the devil, they envy Christ, they want the recognition of men, the titles, the clothes and to be known as Rabbi. They want to be cheered and held up, more then they want to be healed, more than they want eternity, they want right now. The truth, uninteresting to them, this Jesus is in the way, He is a stumbling block, causing people to look to someone other than them, embarrassing them, not bowing to them, "CRUCIFY HIM, CRUCIFY HIM." 

This took place to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet:

5 “Say to Daughter Zion,

‘See, your king comes to you,

gentle and riding on a donkey,

and on a colt, the foal of a donkey.’”[a]

6 The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. 7 They brought the donkey and the colt and placed their cloaks on them for Jesus to sit on. 8 A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road.9 The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,

“Hosanna[b] to the Son of David!”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”[c]

“Hosanna[d] in the highest heaven!”

10 When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, “Who is this?”

11 The crowds answered, “This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee.” Matthew 21:4-11