#629 Integrity Is So Passe

When Mordecai learned all that had been done, Mordecai tore his clothes and put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the midst of the city, and he cried out with a loud and bitter cry. 2 He went up to the entrance of the king's gate, for no one was allowed to enter the king's gate clothed in sackcloth. 3 And in every province, wherever the king's command and his decree reached, there was great mourning among the Jews, with fasting and weeping and lamenting, and many of them lay in sackcloth and ashes.

4 When Esther's young women and her eunuchs came and told her, the queen was deeply distressed. She sent garments to clothe Mordecai, so that he might take off his sackcloth, but he would not accept them.5 Then Esther called for Hathach, one of the king's eunuchs, who had been appointed to attend her, and ordered him to go to Mordecai to learn what this was and why it was. 6 Hathach went out to Mordecai in the open square of the city in front of the king's gate, 7 and Mordecai told him all that had happened to him, and the exact sum of money that Haman had promised to pay into the king's treasuries for the destruction of the Jews. 8 Mordecai also gave him a copy of the written decree issued in Susa for their destruction,[a] that he might show it to Esther and explain it to her and command her to go to the king to beg his favor and plead with him[b] on behalf of her people. 9 And Hathach went and told Esther what Mordecai had said. 10 Then Esther spoke to Hathach and commanded him to go to Mordecai and say, 11 “All the king's servants and the people of the king's provinces know that if any man or woman goes to the king inside the inner court without being called, there is but one law—to be put to death, except the one to whom the king holds out the golden scepter so that he may live. But as for me, I have not been called to come in to the king these thirty days.”

12 And they told Mordecai what Esther had said. 13 Then Mordecai told them to reply to Esther, “Do not think to yourself that in the king's palace you will escape any more than all the other Jews. 14 For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” 15 Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai, 16 “Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf, and do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my young women will also fast as you do. Then I will go to the king, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish.”[c] 17 Mordecai then went away and did everything as Esther had ordered him. Esther 4 ESV

Many will blame Mordecai for this, thinking that if he did not put so much weight on integrity then it would have never come so far. He has rent his clothes and put on the clothes of mourning, of bitter outrage, crying out and emptied of office, for those things do not matter anymore. His worst fear has been realized, his enemy has spoken out of both sides of his mouth, and now secured the papers of his fate. It's not just him though, all of his people will suffer, all of their lives have been pronounced nothing. Why, Why oh Lord?

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

He dresses to match his heart not his ego, and while some may think to dress the part they want, he dresses fit to where he is at. He is cast outside, his name has been made less, he wears the clothes to show the truth of his declared state, all else would be pretending, faking it till you make it, but this is the kings unchangeable decree. He knows the Persian law. When Esther finds out that he is in sack cloth, she finds it unbecoming of such a man. She sends him clothes but he refuses to wear them. She wants to cover him, but this cannot be covered, it is a shame to everyone in this realm, and he will bear the cross of it. Integrity is not tailored with thread, it is the fabric of the soul, the heart of those who act upon it. Blessed are they that mourn, those who are poor in spirit, who have come to their end for they shall be the ones to see God act on their behalf. Mordecai tells Esther to go to the king, but she has good reason not to. It's not that kind of relationship, not an equal marriage, and anyone who comes must be invited or extended the scepter. I don't slight her for this, for my wife has played Mordecai to me more than once. If that makes me the king's concubine then I am not so sure I like this analogy, but I feel for her. My wife would tell me, "Say something, you need to stand up for that person, write a letter, don't be a coward, speak up." I would tell her, "that's not the way it works in the real world. Do you want me to lose my job?" It is overwhelming at times and I would love to paint a good picture of myself, but I can feel the anxiety just writing about it, not just for my wife and my kids, but that I think too much of myself and how it is going to affect me. I would pray and then ask my wife again, "really, you really think this is my responsibility?" The answer, "you tell our kids to do the right thing simply because it is that, the right thing. You tell them to fight, not because you know you are going to win, but because it is the right thing to do." Damned by my own words, and none of the way has ever been easy, because I would rather step into the ring, and sometimes I think the belly of the whale isn't such a bad place after all. I look out on all the rest of humanity and think, wow, I can see why Jesus had to come, but then I look at Jesus and I know it's just me, I am the one, I needed this. 

“You have been wishing for another position where you could do something for Jesus: do not wish anything of the kind, but serve him where you are.” (Spurgeon)

iii. “I believe that in dark times God is making lamps with which to remove the gloom. Martin Luther is sitting by his father’s hearth in the forest when the Pope is selling his wicked indulgences: he will come out soon, and stop the crowing of the cock of the Romish Christ-denying Peter. John Calvin is quietly studying when false doctrine is most rife, and he will be heard of at Geneva. A young man is here this morning – I do not know whereabouts he is, but I pray the Lord to make this to be an ordination sermon to him, starting him on his life-work. I feel as if I were Samuel at Bethlehem, seedlings for David, to anoint him with a horn of oil in the name of the Lord.” (Spurgeon)

Our girl is not done yet, she knows the arm bar is in deep, but she refuses to tap. Pray for me, fast, empty yourself out of every notion that you can do anything without God, and pray. As for me, I was put here for such a time as this, so break my arm or God please intervene, but to Him be the glory and praise. She walks in there against her own first better judgment, forfeits the safety of her room and holds on to have her hand raised by God, to hear that "well done thou good and faithful servant." She has come to that place where she would rather die then dishonor her people, her position and her God. Lord, don't let me fall away, don't let me do anything that dishonors the name of Christ. God, please hear our prayers and heal our land.

Then He said to them, “My soul is consumed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with Me.” 39Going a little farther, He fell facedown and prayed, “My Father, if it ispossible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.” 40Then Jesus returned to the disciples and found them sleeping. “Were you not able to keep watch with Me for one hour?” He asked Peter.…Matthew 26:38-40